Can't Speed Through Everything
by Fae Diamonde
Summary: Tommy is still suffering from his time in prison. He gets sucked into a world of his own nightmares having to relive that time. Billy jumps in to save him and what he finds shocks him to the core. He didn't realize how bad things had been. Once they're both safe in the real world Billy decides to help Tommy through the residual feelings and fears he's still holding on to.
1. Chapter 1

My first fic in a while. Anyway I hope you enjoy. For those who have followed me as an author here this is my first Marvel fic. I've been into the young avengers for quite a while now but this is the first time I'm submitting anything online about them. Please feel free to review. I love reading any feedback. This really focuses on Tommy and what happened to him in prison so this may come off a little ooc. Hopefully not. This is set before the newest series but after everything else. Again I know there's nothing written factually about Tommy's time in prison so hopefully this doesn't suck. This is all memory based too so hopefully it isn't confusing. Or is at least better than my ridiculous ramble right now.

* * *

He opened his eyes and immediately wished he'd kept them closed. Tommy found himself strapped tightly to an operating table surrounded by doctors. His initial thought was to vibrate himself out of the restraints but the constant mild electric shock pulsing through the restraints kept him from being able to concentrate hard enough on them. What the hell was he going to do and how'd he get into this situation?

The last thing he remembered was getting ready to ride the big roller coaster at six flags on the Kaplan family trip. How had he ended up in the hands of some twilight zone scientists?

He searched his surroundings flinching with each shock. Familiarity prickled at the back of his mind. He knew this place and these people. He started struggling. He needed to get back. He would not let them do anything to him ever again.

These were the doctors from the prison he'd been kept in before being liberated by the young avengers. Doctor Dick, he'd named him years ago, picked up the all too familiar scalpel sneering down at him.

"This is going to hurt Thomas," he said.

Tommy didn't doubt him, it always hurt. Which was the point. They'd always tried to see how much his speedy healing would let his body take before it gave up trying to keep him alive. For years he hoped his body would just give out. Looking at that scalpel, no knife. He wouldn't let himself pretend they were professionals. He'd met professionals and they had compassion for people, even mutants.

As the knife came closer to his stomach he stayed silence. Once they officially started there would be plenty of noise coming out of him.

He felt the first burn of the blade cutting through his skin and kept as silent as possible. But as the psycho cutting him up kept cutting he let out a whimper closely followed by a scream. At this rate he'd be too hoarse to make any sounds in no time. At least then he'd be too tired for much else, including most of the pain.

"Thomas. Today we will be testing the speed your body can heal and if the depth of the wound will change anything."

He hated when people called him Thomas because of this. While at prison he was always called Thomas. He was never a him, it or that, only Thomas. Prep Thomas for operation. Thomas this is going to hurt, a lot. Thomas is a remarkable specimen. Thomas, Thomas, Thomas, Thomas, Thomas.

The worst part about everything is that he may heal faster than a normal human but he didn't heal like wolverine. If they broke his arm he'd need it set to heal. If they cut his ligaments or tendons, he needed them surgically reattached. Something that had always angered the psychos.

The one silver lining to the entire situation was that the psychos didn't operate on him. He was rushed down to the emergency ward to be treated for his wounds if they'd done too much damage to them. He'd get pain killers and all kinds of drugs to make him numb. It was a blissful 5-10 minutes for him. His accelerated healing also meant burning through the drugs faster than a normal human. He'd woken up mid operation more than a handful of times. They'd started inducing coma's to keep him out while he was on the table. But a drug induced coma is still something his body could burn through and he'd eventually wake up on his own without side effects, which was apparently strange.

Retreating into his own mind and memories hadn't stopped the barrage on his body. The psycho's had continued cutting him up, each cut a different depth. He didn't realise how soar his throat had been getting until then.

It had been hours since they'd started experimenting on him. The clock on the wall said it had only been 1 hour but he knew better, it had been hours. His body had stopped trembling, he'd stopped screaming and now he just lay waiting for them to stop. Hope had died in him years ago. He felt that overwhelming emptiness he'd had before meeting the young avengers creeping up on him. This was it. There was no escape.

The tears sliding down his face had tried and crusted. The blood dripping from his body was constant. He stared at the ceiling waiting for the black spots to start and his vision to blur so he could be moved out of the room but nothing happened. Something was terribly wrong. Had they learned some way to keep him conscious to keep it the torture going until they decided they'd had enough?!

The hopelessness disappeared leaving cold blind panic.

If they'd figured some way to keep him going they'd never stop. He wouldn't just run out of steam and be left with time to recuperate, no this would go on forever. They'd start taking shifts so they could have breaks but he'd still be laying there too tired to scream anymore and in too much pain to sleep. They were going to kill him this time.

"Billy, help."

It was the only words he'd said the entire time. In a last ditch attempt to find help he called out for his twin.

The tears started again. This time they weren't because of the pain, he was drowning in his own sorrow and clinging desperately to the one last shred of hope he'd found buried deep inside himself.

"Billy! Please come find me!"

They were the last words he'd be able to say. The psycho's muzzled him. He looked at them, they seemed worried. Why were they worried? It wasn't like Billy would actually be able to hear him and come to his rescue.

He let the tears continue, mourning his freedom and his life. He wondered if anyone would come looking for him. Probably not. They didn't seem to care about him at all. No one except Billy and Teddy, they might come looking for him. Or they'd get so wrapped up in each other they'd forget all about him. How could he blame them. Sometimes he'd disappear for days at a time. Before they realise something is wrong it'll be too late. He doubted his body would be able to take the amount of abuse the psycho's had planned for him very long without some form of rest.

He stopped thinking about anything when the psycho's brought a blow torch into the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Getting another Chapter up right away, go me! Anyway to those who have read some of my other stuff you know these aren't the biggest chapters but I promise you within the next day or 2 I'll post another chapter and that one will be a proper length. Hopefully you like where this is going. I know it's not the greatest point to leave off at but it's 5am and I'm ready for bed so I will have to update tomorrow. Anyway goodnight and enjoy!

* * *

It had been 2 weeks since their fight with Nightmare. 2 weeks since Tommy was put under some kind of sleep spell that Billy couldn't break. 2 weeks since Billy had been home.

Tommy lay in the hospital bed his skin almost as pale as his white hair. He'd been flinching and whimpering in his sleep the entire time. Billy hadn't left his side for more than a bathroom break the entire 2 weeks. He'd tried everything he could to get Tommy to wake up. Nothing had worked so far.

A few days back Tommy had spoken. He'd asked Billy for help and to find him. It was tearing him apart not being able to help Tommy.

"What's keeping you locked in your mind Tommy?" He whispered not expecting an answer.

"Maybe we should find out," Teddy said.

Billy jumped. He hadn't known he wasn't alone with Tommy. Teddy could be so quiet when he wanted to.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

Teddy shrugged and sat down in the chair on the opposite side of Tommy's hospital bed from Billy.

"You've tried all kinds of spells to get Tommy to wake up but what about a spell to put you into his mind and help him come out from the inside?"

"That's brilliant T!"

Billy didn't waste a second grabbing tightly onto Tommy's hand.

_"Iwanttogointohisdream. Iwanttogointohisdream. Iwanttogointohisdream."_

The world went dark. Teddy watch Billy slump forward resting his head on Tommy's bed. Sighing at his boyfriends impulsiveness he stood up and settled Billy into a nicer position so he wouldn't get a crick in his neck and wrapped a blanket around him.

Billy opened his eyes and found himself inside what seemed to be the prison they'd rescued Tommy from. He remembered it only vaguely but it made sense that this is where Tommy would go if he was having a nightmare.

It wasn't hard to find Tommy. Billy just opened the door closest to him and there he was strapped to a bed covered in blood. At first Billy thought he was dead but on closer inspection he could see the very slight rise and fall of his chest. The doctors all stopped what they were doing and turned their attention on him.

_"Iwantthemtogohome. Iwantthemtogohome."_

_Poof_, they were all gone.

Billy rushed to Tommy's side. He ripped the equipment off him and pulled him into a sitting position. Tommy didn't even flinch.

"Tommy?"

Nothing.

"Tommy look at me!"

Slowly Tommy's eyes shifted to look in his direction. They were so cold and dead. At some point in the 2 weeks Tommy had broken. He'd snapped and Billy hadn't been there to prevent it.

He tried to stop the tears from falling but his whole being mourned for the sanity of his twin.

"Please Tommy. Say something. Anything. I'm here. I've come for you."

Silence. It was so deafening. Billy, heartbroken for his brother, pulled Tommy off the bed onto the his feet. He crumpled to the floor motionless.

"Tommy I need you to help me just a little bit. We'll get you out of this place and then we can work on getting you out of your mind."

This time Tommy didn't look at him. He just stared straight ahead, blinking occasionally.

Billy choked back and sob then struggled to get Tommy back up off the ground. It took a very long time to get Tommy out of the prison, even with his magic. But Billy had Tommy outside the gates. He assumed being stuck in Tommy's mind that they'd only be able to go to placed Tommy knew so he took him to the Kaplan family home. It was Tommy's home now too so it would have to be there.

Thankfully he was right. He pulled Tommy through the door and found his parents sitting at the table reading the news paper. He didn't expect that.

"Billy! Oh Billy are you ok?!"

His mother jumped up from the table to tend to him. He was fine, it was Tommy who was clearly not fine. While his parents tended to him making sure he was ok his grip on Tommy had slipped and the crumpled to the ground once more.

He shooed his parents away and pulled Tommy up once again. This was how he must view the people around him. Ignoring him and doting on Billy. No wonder he had so much hostility towards him.

He managed to get them into Tommy's room and dropped him onto his bed. His wounds were terrible, and he wondered for the hundredth time if that was how it was when he was first arrested.

Billy healed all of Tommy's wounds and stared at his unmoving twin. It had been hours since he'd jumped into Tommy's head and Tommy hadn't said a single thing yet.

Exhausted Billy climbed into the bed next to Tommy. He had his own room even in Tommy's head but he wanted to be there if Tommy started moving or speaking. He also hoped it might antagonise Tommy into reacting.

Morning came, or at least he'd become aware again. Tommy hadn't moved. He hadn't said anything. He hadn't even looked at Billy.

Billy was running out of ideas.


	3. Chapter 3

This is not the last chapter! I know this chapter ends pretty much sounding like everything is wrapped up but the real meaning of the title is going to finally start making sense in the next chapter. Thanks again for those reading. I really appreciate everyone :)

* * *

Billy was tempted to leave to get some advice and then come back for Tommy. He realised though and some point that Tommy didn't think people cared about him. Leaving would only make things worse.

"Tommy I'm not going anywhere. We'll figure this out together."

No response, Billy expected that. No, he'd secretly hoped it would get some kind of reaction.

"I'll be right back. I'm just going to the washroom," he said knowing this time for sure there would be no reaction.

Billy went to the washroom like he said he would but then made his way through the house kicking his family of Tommy's memories out of the house. For this to work and have any effect he'd need everyone who would fuss over Billy out of the picture. It took a ridiculous amount of convincing but he managed to get them to go somewhere else.

It was all so unnerving sending versions of his parents away who weren't really real. As soon as they were gone he sealed off the house. No one could get in or out without Billy's permission.

He rushed back to Tommy's room. He moved! When Billy left he was on his back and now he rolled onto his side. Billy smiled allowing himself the moment to rush over him. Allowing the hope to settle in.

"Tommy let's get up for the day."

Billy managed to get him out of the bed and into the bathroom. He pulled off his shirt and pants, thank god he'd been wearing boxers, and gave him a sponge bath. Tommy was starting to help in little ways. If Billy sat him down he'd stay sitting upright. If he pulled him up off the couch or off the floor it wouldn't be like lifting dead weight. Billy new with each tiny bit of movement that Tommy was coming out of whatever mental cocoon he'd wrapped himself in.

It had occurred to Billy that he could go deeper into Tommy's mind to the place his consciousness was hiding. But that would involve going deeper into Tommy's mind and could do untold damage to them both. It felt safer to bring Tommy back here and then worry about getting them back to reality.

Tommy was starting to move his legs enough to shuffle along with Billy. He wasn't really reacting to anything but Billy would take what little he could get.

Billy had noticed that there wasn't a single scar he could see on Tommy when he'd been cleaning him up. He must heal so quick that the skin doesn't scar. Billy started to wonder how many scars would be on Tommy had he not healed them. He promised himself he'd find out eventually.

He knew they didn't have to eat but he went through the motions of making them breakfast and force fed Tommy. It wasn't a pleasant experience and he worried about choking but he wanted to do everything he could to show Tommy just how much he cared about him.

"Tommy please just come back to me," Billy whispered.

Tommy moved! His eyes met Billy's just briefly.

"Tommy I'm right here. I've come all the way into your head to pull you from this nightmare but I can't do it on my own. I need your help."

Tommy's eyes unfocused once again.

Billy excused himself from the room and dashed into the bathroom so he could hit something without Tommy seeing. He was frustrated because he didn't know what to do and when something looks like it's working they take a step forward only to take 2 back.

He rubbed the tears from his cheek furiously and then returned to Tommy plastering a smile on his face.

It felt like days he'd been in Tommy's mind keeping his clean and fed. They watched movies, which weren't exactly the same as in reality. Everything in Tommy's mind was just slightly different because that was how he perceived them. For example Billy's favourite musical was in the stack of DVD's but the DVD itself was only tiny little pieces that Tommy had seen in passing before. He had to stick to Tommy's favourite's if he wanted to watch the whole movie.

He talked to Tommy. Reminding him how important he was. They slept. Billy curled in next to Tommy telling him that he wasn't going anywhere. On the third day, which Billy thought might not be healthy for his own mental state, he awoke finding Tommy wrapped around him. At some point Tommy had rolled onto his side and wrapped himself around Billy. He waited very still for Tommy to wake up to gouge his reaction.

When his eyes flickered open there was something different. Tommy looked straight into his eyes. Billy turned to face him, careful not to pull free.

"Hey," he whispered.

Tommy didn't respond but he did attempt a smile.

"I'll take it. Let's get up huh?"

Tommy hesitantly sat up. He still needed help and wasn't talking but he was aware. He was looking around and reacting to Billy. He was walking, leaning heavily on Billy to do it but walking none the less.

Billy went through their usual routine since he'd joined Tommy in his mind.

"Billy," Tommy said during one of the movies.

He stayed silent waiting for Tommy to continue but turned the movie off and turned all of his attention to him.

"You found me."

Billy nodded smiling.

"Where are we?"

"We're inside your mind. I'm hoping that we can wake up today. It's been a few days since I've been here and 2 weeks before that you've been here."

Tommy seemed to look worried. He put his hand on his face rubbing his eyes.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"We were at six flags getting ready to ride that big roller coaster."

Billy was confused. It had been last month they'd gone to six flags on the Kaplan family trip.

"Are you sure? That was a month ago."

Searching his memories Tommy realised that Billy was right. He had the memories of the month since then but he still felt like that's the last thing he'd done. He wasn't sure how to explain himself so he just shrugged dropping the topic.

"We were trying to find the runaways and were attacked. This guy, nightmare, cast some kind of spell on you and you've been sleeping since then. I was hoping to come and get you out. I found you strapped to that table."

Tommy was surprised at the bitterness in Billy's voice.

"I had no idea it had been that bad. I mean you said they'd been trying to turn you into a weapon but you wouldn't talk about it. You never talk about anything. You always act so strong and flippant. I just always figured it couldn't have been that bad if you were so ok."

Tommy shrugged. He hadn't gone back to silence he just wasn't sure what to say to him.

"All those times you sarcastically told us you were ok if anyone cared you were actually asking someone to care weren't you?"

Tommy looked back at the black screen of the TV. "When I came into my powers," he said but couldn't continue.

The house slowly started forming into a different location. Eventually they were at the location of his school, the very one he blew up.

"I didn't blow it up on purpose."

"That's what your attorney said."

"Seriously!"

Billy put his hands up. "I wasn't doubting you!"

"Sure could have fooled me. Look I was just keeping away from home ok. I had started getting these feelings inside me and knew that I had to be away from everyone else. It was when my powers started manifesting."

Tommy clenched and unclenched his hands.

"It was the weekend. No one was supposed to be inside. I felt this intense pressure building inside me. I started vibrating. It was terrifying. Then I started shaking. Everything built up and then the next thing I knew I was running through the halls, I didn't know what was happening."

The school started to crumble. There he was, another version of Tommy sitting in the middle of all the rubble. In front of him was the lifeless body of a man in a janitors uniform.

"I saw him just as the building started to crumble. Somehow I'd managed to survive unscathed. They wanted to give me the death penalty but some guys from the government showed up at my house letting my parents know how much good I could do for society if they could only run some tests."

The scene changed again. They were standing in the front yard of a house. The other Tommy was hand cuffed and restrained by 2 men dressed in the prison uniform from where they'd been keeping Tommy. His parents, who wouldn't even look at him, stood at the front door listening to the man.

"They signed over all of my rights without a second thought. They hated having a mutant for a son. They didn't visit me once. They signed the papers and that was it. They signed my life away. Billy do you have any idea how that feels?"

While they'd been watching his parents give him up Billy had been secretly casting a spell to see all of the scars Tommy should have had.

Tommy turned to him lit up like a Christmas tree. Billy couldn't help himself. He took the 2 steps to Tommy and forced him into a hug. Tears trickled down both their cheeks.

"They wouldn't save me. No one came to save me."

"We came for you"

"Only to save Teddy!"

Billy shook his head clinging tighter to Tommy. "Maybe at first but then you were so much more. You were part of the team and my brother. You aren't alone anymore. I'll always come save you ok?"

Tommy nodded. He clung to Billy.

"Can we go back now?"

Tommy nodded.

They opened their eyes slowly. The lights of the hospital room were blinding. Billy had been moved into a bed next to Tommy's with an IV in his arm. Their hands were still clasped.

"After the first day when you didn't wake up I told the doctor what was happening. I told them not to let your hands get separated," Teddy said.

He pulled both brothers into a tight hug telling them how worried he was starting to get. Tommy smiled sheepishly but didn't pull himself away or shy from the affection.

Billy squeezed Tommy's hand, he even returned the squeeze with a smile plastered on his face.

"If you guys tell anyone how soft I am I will personally kill you both."

The 3 boys laughed together. Once discharged they did the first logical thing they could think of. They went for food. Because it had been a few weeks since Tommy had eaten anything solid Teddy had suggested taking it slow. They ended up at an all you can eat buffet. Tommy made 6 trips back for food.

* * *

Like I said up top I know that this really ends things pretty well but this is where things are going to start going downhill. Tommy is ready to accept help but now he has to work through some things he thought he'd long moved through.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi guys this is going to be the last chapter. I had an idea and somewhere along the way it sort of changed courses on me. I think the problem was that I had 2 story ideas and tried to make them 1. I had originally intended this to be a little longer but I think it wrapped itself up nicely.

* * *

Billy bolted upright in his bed. The sound of someone screaming in terrible agony had disrupted his sleep. He fumbled his way out of bed, landing face first on the ground and scrambled up so he could run/slam into walls until he managed to make his way into Tommy's room.

Tommy was sprawled across his bed gripping the front of his shirt screaming.

Billy didn't know what to do. His parents were in the hallway looking at him curiously.

"I think he's having nightmares," he said.

His mom walked right up to the door and looked in. She watched Tommy struggling and didn't pause, she walked straight over to his bed and sat down next to him. She gently brushed her fingers through his hair making small soothing sounds. She motioned for Billy to sit with her while she calmed Tommy. Billy kneelt on the floor next to Tommy's head.

"I'll always save you," he whispered.

Tommy's struggles and screams died down very slowly. His body was drenched in his sweat. After a few minutes Tommy's eyes fluttered open. He coughed and shifted away from the attention he was being given.

"What the hell-"

"Language."

"What the heck are you guys doing in my room?"

Billy's mom smiled warmly at him. "You were having a nightmare dear."

He blushed and turned away from them.

"I'll leave you to sort this all out," she said leaving the room.

Billy leaned against the bed resting his head on his arm staring at Tommy.

"What?!"

"Just waiting for you to talk about it."

Tommy stared at the wall. After a few silent seconds he moved over in the bed making room for Billy to sit next to him.

"So what was your nightmare about?"

Tommy sighed. He really didn't want to talk about it. From the look on Billy's face though he knew he would have to.

"Just reliving everything. When I was trapped in the dreams if all felt so real. I can still feel the burn on the cuts even now."

Billy hesitantly placed his hand over Tommy's.

"I-"

"I don't want your pity Kaplan."

Billy shook his head. He noticed that Tommy hadn't moved his hand away.

"Not pity Tommy, heartbreak. I don't know how to make things better and I really want to," Billy said.

Tommy laughed sharp and bitter.

"There is no making this better. I've dreamed like this since I was rescued."

But he'd slept near Tommy. They'd gone on a kind of road trip together hunting down the scarlet witch.

"You're wondering how you haven't noticed am I right? I would wait till everyone was asleep and go somewhere else. This was for me to deal with."

Billy squeezed his hand. "Not anymore."

Billy offered to stay with Tommy until he fell asleep, he didn't disagree or send him away. He intended to go back to his own room once Tommy was sound asleep but resting his eyes for just a second lead to waking up still facing Tommy, who was still asleep. He didn't bother leaving. He waited for Tommy to wake up and asked him if he had anymore bad dreams throughout the night. Tommy told him that he didn't think he dreamed after the incident the night before.

"I'll be fine from now on," Tommy said.

"You can't speed through everything Tommy. It sounds like you're still suffering and dealing through some stuff. I'm here as long as you need me."

"I'm done being weak," Tommy said.

He said he was done but every night he woke the house up with his screams. By the 5th night he had lost his voice. During each episode Billy would calm Tommy down and climb into bed with him intending to return to his bed once Tommy was settled. Every morning Billy would still be laying next to his twin. It became their ritual. Billy would wait for Tommy to talk about the dreams and his patience paid off every time. Tommy slowly went from telling him it was reliving the torture to telling him about each dream specifically and in detail.

It took years for Tommy to move past what had happened to him. He had never received any help before but he found he liked when Billy would sit and listen to his dreams. If Billy wasn't there Teddy would always come into check on him and he was just as good at listening. Teddy didn't sit with Tommy until he fell asleep. He'd never admit it out loud but he always slept easily through the night if Billy sat with him.

He took Billy's advice. He knew he couldn't just decide to be better. He took the therapy the Kaplan's offered to get him. He let Billy, and Teddy, help him when he had nightmares. Most importantly he started letting the team know what he needed. He was still the snarky speedster who whizzed through life but he could also be the hurt boy who needed help from his friends.


End file.
